i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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