what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
