even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
birth control should be required to get into college
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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