youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize