Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
