dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I've blown a few things in my day
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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