Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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