I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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