Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
