my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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