it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
