I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize