We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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