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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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