will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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