I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize