I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
