Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
