i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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