My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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