Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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