i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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