When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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