I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
