we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize