I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
