My brain says no but my pants say off.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
