the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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