oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
