you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
