Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
