Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
