I only kidnapped one of them. chill
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
