marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
