Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
