Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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