She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
