We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
and you fell through a lawn chair
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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