That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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