I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
