dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
