Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
