Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is wine microwaveable?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
