The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize