Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
