If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
