i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
