No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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