some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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