I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
