Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I could fuck to npr.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
