so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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