I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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