so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
